This Blog is Moving

I'm excited to announce that this blog has moved to a new home with Guideposts! You can find my first post here:

War is a Part of Life

Be sure to join me there!

Getting Ready to Mail Packages to the Troops for Easter

by Edie Melson

Boxes to be filled - photos from our Christmas mailing.

Even though Easter comes a bit later this year, our local Blue Star Mothers Chapter 3 is gearing up to ship out—packages that is. 

We love sending boxes to the troops, and that's always been one of our main missions. But sending so many boxes takes a bit of planning. 

Beyond that, we couldn't do it without the love & support we get from the community. They're what helps bring it all together.

What Can I Do to Help Military Families?

by Edie Melson

Ever since my first devotional for military families, Fighting Fear: Winning the War at Home When Your Soldier Leaves for Battle hit store shelves, I've been besieged by one question. 

What can I do to reach out to military families in my community? 

People are looking for ways to support our military and their waiting families—but they don’t know what to do.

I completely understand. 

Before our son joined the Marine Corps, I had no idea either. We don’t come from a military family and our home in upstate South Carolina isn’t near a military base.

So today I want to share some of the ways our community reached out to us and ways I see others currently reaching out to families.

Ways Our Community Helped Us

• Ask how their soldier is doing—and then give the family a chance to answer. This is so comforting. Often our soldiers feel like the world has forgotten them, and sometimes the families feel that way too. Giving them a chance to share news, triumphs and fears is vital

• Send their soldier a letter, or even better, a package. Knowing that our son was receiving mail from people other than family was huge. I knew it let him know he wasn’t forgotten.

• Let the family know you’re praying. As I mentioned in my book, I would sometimes be so fearful I had trouble praying. Invariably I’d hear from someone that during my time of prayerlessness, they had been praying.

• Be on hand for the send-off and the homecoming. Some soldiers prefer a quiet send-off or homecoming, but be sure to reach out near these special dates and if they’re open, take part! Especially be available to line the streets when a soldier is killed at war. That happened recently in our community and the outpouring of support was incredible and helped so many more than just the family. 

Things I See Others Doing Now

• Help with the kids left at home. We all know how hard it is to be a single parent these days. That difficulty is magnified when one parent is away at war. Step in and offer to help get younger kids to and from activities.

• Provide a night out. Whether it’s a child or spouse away at war, the family can use a chance to get out with friends. Especially if it’s a spouse, money can be tight. So plan a special surprise with a gift card to a movie or favorite restaurant.

• Offer to collect items to send. Most of us are a part of some kind of group. You may not be able to collect a truck load, but if we all do a little we can accomplish amazing things! Our soldiers love getting things from home and it’s even better when they have plenty to share with their buddies.

• Stop and give. As a member of Blue Star Mothers of America, I often have the opportunity to collect donations for our military. It means more than you can imagine when people stop and give.

Many times, people wind up doing nothing out of fear that they’ll do or say the wrong thing. Really and truly there are very few wrong things. Most are things people have said without thinking and I promise, military families are a forgiving group.  

Here are a few comments you should try to avoid:

Did you see that news story about…

The first thing military families learn during deployment is to avoid watching the news AT ALL COST! The reason is because if something happens, the military will contact the family. Also, we’ve found the news reports are incomplete at best and out-and-out wrong at worst.

I hope your soldier makes it back.

You may wonder that anyone would say this, but people do. We are all scared that something awful might happen and we really don’t need to be reminded about it.

You must be so sorry your (husband, wife, son, daughter) is in the military.

Really? No, we’re proud—button bustin’ proud—and we don’t appreciate those who think it’s something to be ashamed of.

Finally, here is a link to an organization that helps our military and their families. There are chapters all over the US, so chances are, you have at least one in your community.

Blue Star Mothers ofAmerica.

This is a 501(c)3 organization and is set up to reach out to active duty military, their families and veterans who need assistance. Many of the local chapters have websites set up with information. Here is our Greenville Blue Star Mothers website.

Now it's your turn. What helped you while your loved one was serving our country?

Angels on Guard

by Edie Melson

If you say "The Lord is my refuge," and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. Psalm 91:9-11

I will never hear the rumble of a motorcycle again without remembering that day...

It was the funeral service of an army medic, killed by an IED two days after Christmas. He was barely 20 years old and graduated high school in 2010 with my middle son.

While none of us was looking forward to the service, our anxiety was increased by advance knowledge of the planned protest. The group had announced they would be present.

The mindset of people who think they are doing anything productive by harassing families struck by tragedy is beyond me. I know, no matter whom they claim to represent, they are nothing more than ignorant hate-mongers. But my heart ached at the thought of this brave family enduring anything additional on this day.

Then we found out the Patriot Guard would be on duty.

This amazing organization has banded together to stand, as a wall of avenging angels, between the family and those who sought to harm them. I could try to explain their mission, but it’s most aptly stated in the mission statement found on their website. 

Outside the church, they surrounded the mourners, standing at attention and shielding them from all uninvited interlopers. Their respectful silence said it all. These men and women travel hundreds of miles to show the respect of a grateful nation . . . and the provision of God.

Inside the church I listened with one ear to the moving service, and the other straining to catch any sounds of the protestors. I prayed that nothing would interrupt the tribute to brave man. As the service progressed I began to relax, nothing from the outside penetrated the sanctuary.

Then I began to hear—or more accurately feel—a deep rumbling roar. It was an almost inaudible hum, a vibration that seemed to ebb and flow. As I strained to identify the source of the noise, it suddenly hit me. It was the sound of a thousand motorcycle engines, their owners revving the motors to cover any possibility of disrespect.

I smiled to myself. God had set his angels to guard around those who were grieving. And in those engines, I heard the voice of God daring anyone to protest the sacrifice of this young soldier.

War Stories From a Mother's Heart

by Edie Melson

I remember our son's first deployment, especially what it was like to say goodbye to my oldest son as he left for Iraq. Throughout the last couple days, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Was that the last time I’d eat supper with him?  The last picture I’ll have of him?  The last time I’ll ever see him smile?”

As a military mom I’ve learned it’s important not to dwell on the what ifs.  But at the beginning of this deployment my heart was aching and harder to control.  Almost of its own volition my mind seems to drift to the endless possibilities with a son in the Middle East.  I wondered what the next seven months would bring.  When would I hear from him?  What was he doing?  And most importantly—was he safe?

I learned many coping techniques during his two tours to Iraq while he served in the Marine Corps.  My prayer life has become vibrant and active and my reliance on God more automatic.  I’ve learned that the belief I would always be able to protect my children is false.  My son, and all my kids, are entirely in God’s hands and always has been.  And I have reluctantly come to acknowledge that is the best place for him. 

While he was on deployment I learned to avoid the major TV networks and newspapers that report the worst of news from all angles and tried to tell me my son was risking his life for nothing. When I heard of protests at local military bases my heart went out to the men and women stationed there.  I know firsthand the hurt and frustration these soldiers feel. They're not the ones who choose the conflicts they’re involved in.  Even as I understood the public’s dissatisfaction with the political situation around us, I wished they'd take it out on those in Washington. 

I stayed in close touch with other military families, because they understood my circumstances.  I found that, in general, military moms aren’t political people and we can’t understand those who are.  For us the war is personal, not a topic to be debated. It’s about our children’s sacrifices; their willingness to put their lives on the line for something they believe in, something we all used to believe in – God and country.  I’m proud of my son, but I’m afraid also.  I realized that was something he'd chosen to do, something he felt he had to do. I just wish he could've served in a way that wasn't so dangerous.  But that choice too, was out of my hands.

As I said goodbye to the strong man my son had become, I remembered the selfish teenager who once thought the world revolved around him. Now he loved his fellow Marines in a way most couldn't imagine.  He put their well-being far above his own and his former narcissism had faded. His life was now one of selflessness and sacrifice.  At the same time he learned to fight and carry a gun, he learned to love his fellow man in a way that few experience. 

So where did I go from there? I continued to hope, and I continued to pray—for a homecoming filled with joy for all the men and women who service.